Tuning Up...
I’ve put in a few odd minutes this week re-learning U2’s “Hold Me Thrill Me Kiss Me Kill Me,” and Seal’s “Kiss from a Rose,” both of which feature on the soundtrack to 1995’s Batman Forever. I refused to tune the guitar first, and it sounded terrible.
In a recorded conversation between Dan Harris, Joseph Goldstein, and Sam Harris, which you can listen to here, the trio of meditation teachers discuss the Eightfold Path––a list of concepts to keep in mind in order to live a good life. Basically, it’s the Buddhist’s Ten Commandments, except that where Moses told the Hebrews, “do these ten things and never fail or else fuck you all the way to hell,” the Eightfold Path is the Buddha saying, “hey everyone, these worked for me, you could give them try, see what you think. Or not, whatever, that’s cool too…” At some point someone mentions a parable about a lute player who feels as though he isn’t making any progress in his meditation, so he seeks help from the Buddha.
“What happens,” the Buddha asks, “when your strings are too tight?”
“They break,” says the musician.
“And when happens when they are too loose?”
“They don’t make any dang sound.”
“That is how you should practice meditation. Not too tight, not too loose.”
The teachers like the metaphor, even though Dan Harris notes that “tuning the lute” is much more difficult than tuning a mind.
Goldstein replies that we’re continually tuning: “Too tight, okay, settle back already aware [mindful]. Too loose, be more mindful.” Tuning isn’t all that tough. Staying in tune is difficult, because remembering to tune is the whole project.
Dan then offers some practical advice drawn from the teaching of Sayadaw Tejaniya:
“Ask yourself, ‘what is the attitude in the mind right now?’ …asking yourself this question can allow you to see the unseen desire or aversion that is wrong effort.”
“It’s not even looking for an answer,” Goldstein says. “It’s the very asking of the question that accomplishes what needs to be accomplished. ‘What’s the attitude?’ and I can feel the mind dropping back from a wanting that I didn’t even know it was there.” Awareness is already happening, and you just have to notice it. Attachment can be overcome.
This snippet of dialogue lasts a few seconds, maybe a minute, in the context of a 90-minute conversation, which is the third of five—nearly seven hours of talking. It’s easy to miss, and it deserves a boost, because the potential reach of this idea is infinite. Here’s a reframe:
A stringed instrument must be in tune first with itself. Guitar strings need to be tuned relative to each other. Too tight, and the notes are too sharp. Too loose and the notes are too flat. When the strings are out of tune with each other, the sounds are discordant, inharmonious.
We can map the metaphor onto the individual: Am I too tight? That is, am I too sharp, too high strung, strung out, ready to snap, too tense? Am I behaving like an asshole? Am I wishing suffering on others? Am I plotting revenge? If so, back off, loosen up, settle down into easy awareness that is already there.
Am I too loose? That is, am I too flat, too dull, aloof, wobbly, nonchalant? Am I a blank wall? Am I useless? Am I boring? If so, tighten up, look sharp, pay closer attention.
To play in a band, the guitar must be in tune with all the other instruments as well: piano, bass, drums, which must all also be in tune with themselves. Since these instruments are made of organic material, wood, they are susceptible to environmental changes in temperature, pressure, and humidity, all of which affect tuning. A musician in a band must constantly pay close attention to the local tuning of their own instrument, and to the collective tuning of the ensemble.
Now we can map onto every human relationship—lovers, parents, children, students, teachers, friends, acquaintances, you and that lady in the café, you and that guy behind the wheel of a cybertruck, you and the senator who spoke for 25 hours, you and the child whose home has been blown to dust, you and the person sleeping on cold concrete in Guantanamo Bay, you and the richest man in the world who is more like Dr. Doom than Tony Stark, you and me.
Are we in tune? It’s an unanswerable question. But just asking it, as Goldstein says, is what does the job. It’s easy to see how we can add this to our therapy sessions, maybe replacing other unanswerable questions like “how are you feeling,” or “how’s the couple this week.” But, more importantly, we add this to our moment-to-moment. A good musician keeps their instrument in tune because they are constantly paying attention to tuning, adjusting in between pieces, sometimes tweaking during a song. Likewise, a person keeps their mind tuned in by constantly paying attention.
For more on Batman Forever (Is it merely the second-worst film in the franchise? Is it a brilliantly understated comment on homosexuality in media?), toon in next week, same Bat-Time, same Bat-Channel.